F*ck Going With The Flow: Here’s Why ‘Going With The Flow’ Is Not A Good Thing
“In order to heal we must forgive…and sometimes the person we must forgive is ourselves.” – Mila Bron
No puedo (I cannot)! In case you haven’t noticed my hashtag #goingwiththeflow in my social media posts, that has been my ‘motto to live by’ for the majority of this year. But I cannot ‘go with the flow’ anymore, and I’m going to tell you why ‘going with the flow’ is not a good thing.
Since last year, I’ve been wrapped up in some personal stuff. The loss of someone special in my life, which I will share with time and healing. I compare this time to riding a rollercoaster. There have been highs, and there have been lows. Feelings of shame and guilt. Confusion and fear. But if there is one thing life has already taught me is that your story makes you who you are and we have the power to rise above it. So, I’ve finally decided to step off the rollercoaster and no longer ‘go with the flow’.
Truthfully, ‘going with the flow’ is a defense mechanism (aka excuses). I, for one, have self-indulged in my share of excessive gratification in order to cope with my personal situation. And I’m not going to beat myself up about it…I’m just finally being honest with myself, because I have too much to offer this world. And while change in life is always scary, Nat is ready to get her groove back.
Here’s Why ‘Going With The Flow’ Is Not A Good Thing
If you are reading this, please refrain from using the cliché ‘going with the flow’. I get it, us spiritually-minded people, even those who just want less stress in their life love this saying. But it’s a stall and avoidance approach. As I mentioned above, it’s a defense mechanism. What it really means is that you are stressed and overwhelmed. You don’t want to deal with reality and the feelings that come along with your truth.
For me, pain has always found a way into my life, which is why I sometimes wear coping mechanisms, such as ‘going with the flow’ like armor. No bueno (not good). It’s like putting a band aid over a scar. It’s just a temporary fix. But sometimes scars need air to breathe and heal. So, when you feel like you’re drowning in life’s situations, it’s important to come up for air and give yourself a reality check. That means being honest with yourself, so you don’t get swept into the current.
‘Going with the flow’ is not going to take you where we want to go. Instead, you have to use this flow to take you in the right direction. That means stop making excuses and deflecting from reality. Letting go of fear. Fear of change. Fear of embracing what you are capable of achieving.
For someone who has coached large and small business clients, I’m still trying to wrap my head around how I decided to ‘go with the flow’. I’m the queen of plans. That’s what has led a lot of my clients, including myself to success. Because without a roadmap, you are just ‘going with the flow’ and not taking action. Sure, coming up with a plan and sticking to it takes work. But with consistency, you will succeed, even if you have to tweak things along the way and learn from failure.
Having a plan implies that you have goals. You cannot go through life winging it. Because without a plan and goals you won’t reach your dreams. So, what’s the point here? ‘Going with the flow’ is not an exit strategy. I can finally say this with confidence and share my failure with you.
Cheers to not ‘going with the flow’. We got this!